Santa is a scary, funny smelling old man.

screaming at santaIn the past few years if you have managed to reproduce, adopt, or build out of Lego a lovely little baby of your very own you must take said little being to see Santa Claus.

Why? Well you can’t start the confusion and lies early enough in my book. It’s an acceptable way to mess with their grabby little minds for a decade or so. I mean really, look how much fun they’re having…

Montage of scared kiddies

If your child does happen to be a screamer don’t worry. Don’t slink away with empty promises to “try again later when she’s had her nap“. Revel in your time. Then you will only have to do it once. And yes, all the people in the line are talking about you and discussing either what a brat your kid is or how you are torturing the poor little darling. You monster.

Just grab some toys off the nearby shop shelves and let Roberta play with those.  That’s what they’re there for. Then put them back (well, throw them) and go home, safe in the knowledge that your child is fearful of strange men promising gifts.

Scared of Santa

Oh and mums… because it will be down to you since only mums give a damn about getting these things done… dress as if you are going to meet the Queen because chances are one year you are going to end up in the photo too. Since this is the only photo your Mother-in-Law will keep on the mantle for the next three months you may as well look sensational.

Main family image is from the Flickr stream of WBUR

About gillianloves

I decided there was not enough laughing in my life so I set to and started to design greeting cards in addition to my other design work. I'm happy to make people smile and to show that giving something really good takes as little effort as sending something pretty ordinary. I fully believe that if you can laugh about it someday you may as well laugh about it today. And also that we are just about as happy as we try to be. But you should know, Pollyanna I'm not. Even I might want to slap her after a day or so.
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