Why? Well you can’t start the confusion and lies early enough in my book. It’s an acceptable way to mess with their grabby little minds for a decade or so. I mean really, look how much fun they’re having…
If your child does happen to be a screamer don’t worry. Don’t slink away with empty promises to “try again later when she’s had her nap“. Revel in your time. Then you will only have to do it once. And yes, all the people in the line are talking about you and discussing either what a brat your kid is or how you are torturing the poor little darling. You monster.
Just grab some toys off the nearby shop shelves and let Roberta play with those. That’s what they’re there for. Then put them back (as near as you can throw them) and go home, safe in the knowledge that your child is fearful of strange men promising gifts.
Oh and mums… because it will be down to you since only mums give a damn about getting these things done… dress as if you are going to meet the Queen because chances are one year you are going to end up in the photo too. Since this is the only photo your Mother-in-Law will keep on the mantle for the next three months you may as well look sensational.
Main family image is from the Flickr stream of WBUR
And yes, before you complain in comments that I posted this last year, I did. I changed the title though. Several thousand minus points for effort, I agree… but I’m too busy drinking egg nog and eating mince pies. If I keep this up I might get a job as Mrs Santa next year.