Unrecommendable Secret Santa gifts

There are of course gifts that spring to mind instantly, especially if you score the office weasel, incompetent or complete cow in the Secret Santa draw. Since it’s best to be funny, not spiteful, and maintain the festive mood (no matter how much is pains you), best snort quietly to oneself, and possibly to a few others, and opt for the boring choice of a box of Quality Street instead.

If you can’t say something nice… come sit by me… no no, that’s not right… then don’t say anything at all. Yes, that’s it.

I know, I know you couldn’t POSSIBLY give this to anyone.  And we all know someone who really could use this.  To dry dishes, mop up tear, bloodstains, you name it. Meet the  emotionally unstable teatowel.

tea towel

For the person who is forgetful, or really stupid… an inflatable brain.  Now they will have one and a half to help them through the day.

Inflatable brain

For the person who has an opinion on everything.  The one who drags a 20 minute meeting out to an hour and a half by “exploring every option” and having an opinion on EVERYTHING, here’s a nice big cup of

Coffee mug

For the office brown noser (or worse) a great big book of butts would be right up their… uh… alley. Or the division head’s alley. Team it with a packet of breath fresheners and a pack of wet wipes.

Book of bottoms

I could go on.  And on.  In fact I think I will. More unrecommendable gifts soon… having way too much fun to stop now. Heh heh heh.

About gillianloves

I decided there was not enough laughing in my life so I set to and started to design greeting cards in addition to my other design work. I'm happy to make people smile and to show that giving something really good takes as little effort as sending something pretty ordinary. I fully believe that if you can laugh about it someday you may as well laugh about it today. And also that we are just about as happy as we try to be. But you should know, Pollyanna I'm not. Even I might want to slap her after a day or so.
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4 Responses to Unrecommendable Secret Santa gifts

  1. Miranda says:

    I once printed the ‘Shut the Fcuk Up’ one onto a t-shirt and wore it on ‘casual Fridays’. Possibly a CLM…

    • gillianloves says:

      But look at the dizzy heights you’ve reached… so surely not a Career Limiting Move. Anyone in charge was probably too afraid to try and read it, since staring at a woman’s chest is quite frowned upon these days.

  2. Jane says:

    Are you sure they’re ‘unrecommendable’?

    I can think of a number of people to give the tea towel and the brain to – not to mention the joy of the secret santa, where you can really let your true feelings out under the wonderful cover of complete annonymity!

    • gillianloves says:

      “Unrecommendable” is in there to get me out of trouble when you give it to someone and they punch your lights out. I’m not silly. Well okay, yes I am, but you know what I mean.

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