Well, okay, I don’t know you that well… let’s just be good friends, yeah?
Boop oop de doo is a Look Mama! card, available here.
Artist creator Theo Jansen makes skeletons that walk on the wind. Now I’ve never said this ever… but totally amazeballs or what?
This has been making the rounds on Twitter lately. Thought you might like to have a look.
I did briefly consider that the kid was actually a 35 year old doing a little girl voice but decided that would be being overly cynical. I probably killed a few fairies with that one.
Yes, I say a guide because the list of things you can give your loved one on Valentine’s Day is so very, very long. Get it wrong though and any of these gifts could well result in “So long, get out, the door is thataway > > >” .
Kitchen appliances —have you ever known a kitchen appliance to make anyone feel special? A kitchen appliance says “I hope you will cook me something with this”. If you give it to the wrong sweetheart they may just cook your head.
Jewellery—if you have the money, why not? It can be a great gift. Do you really know what he or she likes? If you buy something with a heart on it, make sure it doesn’t look too much like plastic. You paid a lot for that 100% cubic zirconia so it may as well look the real deal.
Just a thought though, if you give jewels on Valentine’s Day, what’s left for all the other properly BIG days like anniversaries and birthdays huh? Huh? Quite possibly Bar. Too. High.
Write a special poem—No. Don’t do it, just don’t. Even if you are really, really good at poetry, forget it. Besides, if you are really, really good at poetry chances are you are flying solo already.
Write a lovely song—Unless you are Michael Bublé, see above entry.
Lingerie—you are really giving it to yourself, aren’t you? Be honest. You are hoping to see that little saucy number just as soon as the dessert plates hit the sink. Call me old fashioned, but a pair of crotchless panties just doesn’t ding my bell. No jokes please about where I keep my bell, thank you.
Under no circumstances team the lingerie with any rubber or battery powered devices. Handcuffs are a definite no no.
I know gifts can sometimes be about “the story” but that story is about gutters and sleaze, not about romance.
Give someone that and you are not quite so interested in touching their heart if you know what I mean. And I know that you do.
A picture of the two of you—you are giving the recipient something to rip in half when it’s all over. If you collage the frame with shells from that favourite beach you both adore, the relationship could well be over immediately.
Chin up, you might be able to meet a new partner at the local retirement village’s Craft Club.
Flowers—the almost “no fail” gift. Try to remember to take the supermarket label off them first. Not near a supermarket? Fear not, the local petrol station has stocked up for “busy” people like you. Nothing says romance like the unmistakable fragrance of petrol.
Under no circumstances give your better half dead flowers (because he or she is a goth, an emo or says they hates flowers). They might “get” your joke but you may well “get” a head injury, some marching orders or both.
A final word of caution: Desperately hooking up with the dork who works at the Chemist might seem like a good idea, but it probably isn’t. Being alone is not the same as being lonely. If you are a bit lonely there is plenty of time to work on that… don’t freak out and rush into something just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Never fear, there is a potential stalker out there for all of us.
• Top image is a Look Mama “love” card design
• Handcuffs stockings image is from the Flickr stream of Mnyc1
• Look! We found you a lovely shell photo frame, just in case you didn’t have time to make your own. That one is sold (yes, really) but you can find others by Rose Mary on Etsy for the bargain price of $40.
• The flowers are from the Flickr steam of Kejadlin
Okay, so it’s true, squirrels bury their nuts in the garden.
Let’s not over think this. It’s all about the adoration.
“You are my kind of nut” is one of mine, you can check it out here along with some other loved up lovey love cards. Nothing too soppy, I promise.
I finally got my act together and started walking the dogs properly. I’m such a lousy owner. We have a huge backyard and they chase each other. Still, I know, I know, getting OUT is great.
Now though, I can’t put on my shoes without them both going berserk at the back door begging to come too. If I don’t take them with me I feel like a complete heel. It’s a bit annoying if I’m honest.
Every walk we find a reward. ie a something good that we wouldn’t have seen if we didn’t go. One time it was an eagle flying near our house, sometimes rabbits and even a fox in broad daylight running along the road. All we want now is an eagle to fly past holding a fox that is chomping a rabbit. That would be the jackpot.
The walk a couple of days ago was much less exciting. Our reward was cows. I guess the real reward was seeing the dogs do a double-take of the cows, proper comedy-style. Maybe they thought they were really big dogs.
Don’t worry, relax, I’m not going to do “daily rewards” posts, I promise.
Unless, of course, that whole eagle-fox-rabbit thing happens in which case you’ll never hear the end of it. Not ever.
This card was going to say “It’s true, dorks mate for life… oh sorry, STORKS mate for life”.
I felt bad making fun of these sweet (yes, dorky) kids so I curbed that impulse and went with Sweet. True. Love. I’m kinda glad I did. Mostly.
This card, and lots of its loved up siblings, are available in here.
